Aging is a universal experience, something we all face as time goes on. I’ve spent a lot of time reflecting on what it means to grow older.
Here are 10 thoughts that have surfaced during my journey:
1. Aging Brings Wisdom, But Also New Questions
It’s true that as time passes, you become more mature and certainly accumulate a valuable set of skills and human knowledge compared to years past. However, the flip side of aging is the emergence of new questions. For example: Have I lived a meaningful life so far? What were and what should be my priorities? How do I want to live the coming years? What do I want to leave behind, both in terms of spiritual and other legacies?
Okay, if you’ve already started to feel scared, hold on because I haven’t even started yet.
2. The Fear of Physical Changes
There’s no point in telling you something you already know and experience every day in your own skin. Of course, we experience physical changes at every moment, which may not be so noticeable in daily life, but they become evident when we look at photos from even just a little while ago. And I’m not just talking about hair color, but also about those first signs of aging around the eyes, the skin that starts to sag, and (let’s be honest) that cellulite that becomes harder to keep under control than before.
The more I see the changes in my body of various kinds, I inevitably clash with one of my fears (perhaps a superficial one, but still): How will I look or feel in 10 years? What about 20? And after 30 years?
This makes the desire and will to stay physically and mentally fit through sports and other activities that provide the right physical and cognitive stimuli even more present. We have a saying in Albanian: “People age when they want to,” and there’s some truth to it. If we don’t continuously care for our bodies and minds and nourish them with the right stimuli, the signs of aging will certainly be more noticeable.
3. The Universality of Aging
Well, let’s say that a comforting thought is that we all, without exception, will age. Have you seen that movie with Meryl Streep and Goldie Hawn (“Death Becomes Her”) where the two actresses don’t age and never die because they drank the elixir of eternal life? For one reason or another, I’ve always loved that movie since I was little. Not just because there was something mystical and strange about the way the film was presented, but because it made me curious about aging and its consequences even back then. I saw how no one was exempt from this process and how even the effort to stop it led to fatality (a harsh truth even today).
It’s somewhat fair that we all age; it makes us more alike and helps us appreciate each moment more. This brings us to the next point:
4. A Deeper Appreciation for the Present
Yes, as the years go by, we value the present more, along with the people and unforgettable moments with them. Understanding how short life can be, we start to live more without worrying about what others think or want. What matters is what *you* want!
Ask yourself: What do *you* want? What do *you* desire from this moment? The moments become more valuable, and you begin to see your priorities through a different lens.
5. Navigating the Fear of Loss and the Fear of Death
This is a very special and difficult point, intertwined with the general fear of death. Each of us believes in something when it comes to our relationship with death, and this is a personal and intimate subject that I don’t want to delve into too much. Every adult has formed their relationship with this over time.
However, it’s hard to constantly think about the inevitable end, so I try to appreciate and love every moment with my loved ones more. The awareness of our temporary existence has given me a greater desire to live and experience every moment in all its nuances, and to cherish spending valuable time with my loved ones. What makes me fear death is the thought of whether I will have achieved my goals in life (not material ones). This is my only fear, along with whether I will be proud of how I spent my time on earth.
6. Shifting Focus to Inner Growth
And here we come to the part where we need to invest in ourselves. This is where education and reading are the most important things each of us should prioritize, in my opinion. We need to see how each day we learn something new, develop further, and how experiences with new people, places, or situations (travel, new people, hobbies, and new passions) give us more than we think. Spend time on yourself and nourish yourself with good spiritual food, whatever that may be for you. Discover it and start now!
7. The Value of Self-Acceptance
And the more you develop and learn, the more you start to recognize all the corners of yourself and your mind. The more you know them, the more you start to love them or even improve them—not by judging, but by accepting them as the first step in improving and loving yourself.
8. The Power of Connection
I have contradictory thoughts about this because I’ve also had trouble with the aspect of belonging to a certain group, especially when you’re very different from what is expected of you. Over time, I realized that this too is a group in itself, and it’s perfectly okay to be different and feel different. What’s important is to find people who understand you in a certain way and to see this diversity in yourself not as a mistake that needs to be corrected, but as a positive trait of a very genuine person who doesn’t compromise who they are.
Find people around you who inspire you and make you want to be more of *you*, just as you are!
9. Embracing the Journey
Embrace yourself now and in the next 30 or more years. Think about how you are unique in this world and deserve to be happy. Give yourself the happiness you deserve, free yourself from judgments, and live happily in your own skin at every moment. Being true and authentic to yourself is what leads to a long and happy life, always investing in improving yourself.
Think about how the only constant in our life is that we age, and consider changing the things you can: read, eat well, exercise, and spend time with loved ones, etc.
(For more on this, read other people’s blogs.)
Believe in yourself—it’s rejuvenating!
There were actually 10 points, but I seem to have combined one into another. So, here’s a bonus:
10. P.S.: Never forget SPF! (And i mean it!) 🙂
With Love,
Doc D.
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